awareness tools
Secret to Happiness?
Many people believe that happiness is something to be achieved, something they will feel in the future if only they got what they want.
"I would be happier if I lived in a bigger house."
"If only I could find my soulmate."
"It would make me so happy if I could have that dream job."
etc., etc.,...
After all, who wouldn' t be happy to hit the jackpot and become a millionaire? Well, contrary to the popular belief, studies conducted on lottery winners have shown that they are not necessarily happier than people who didn't win. They may be elated for a short period of time, but for most of them, the level of perceived happiness went down to the same as before after a while. On the other hand, we sometimes hear people who have gone through very challenging situations, such as serious illness or losing their jobs, saying that those were the best things that happened to them in their lives.
It is obvious that it is not a certain condition or a person that makes us happy. We are merely projecting some sort of positive quality or nice feelings on them. The truth is, whatever you are projecting is already within you, but you have not embraced it fully yet.
Of course it helps to have money or a loving partner, but it's very important to know that you already have the wonderful quality that you see in them in yourself, right here and now. Otherwise, you will be attached to certain things or people, while being mildly disappointed that the happy feeling doesn't last very long. Or you will be forever dreaming about the 'someday' that may or may not come.
So how do you embrace the feeling of joy and happiness that you supposedly have already? One thing you can do is to stay with the feeling consciously and explore it further when you find yourself dreaming about something. Here is a simple exercise that I often introduce in my workshop called "My Dream Vacation."
- If you had two weeks of free time and enough money to spare, where would you like to go? It can be an actual place on earth, or some imaginary place.
- Imagine you are on the dream vacation right now. Where are you? What are you wearing? How are you walking or sitting? How does it feel in the body? What does it look like around you? What is the atmosphere? How does the air feel like? Are their any sounds? How would you spend your day? Imagine you are there and really enjoy the experience.
- What is the 'essence' of the experience? (e.g. peace, contentment, joy, fun, excitement..)
- Come back to the room slowly while somehow embracing the essence. Feel that it's right there with you.... What can you do to remember this feeling for the next week?
Many people find this exercise easy and fun, and realize that they can go to their dream destinations, or rather, have the same happy feeling they would have on a real vacation, without having to spend any money. Maybe you can try and play with it too. After all, playfulness is another road to happiness. Bon voyage!
*If you would like personal assistance in following the exercises or would like to have one-on-one phone consultations to support your process, please contact us at info(at)innerawareness.org.
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